Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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