he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
