ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
