got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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