Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
