So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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