matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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