Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
