Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
