I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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