ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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