Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
