you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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