Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
