FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
