Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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