I'm drive I can fine osifer
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
