Where did you get a picture of my penis
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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