And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
