Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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