I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Two words: blizzard sex
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
