Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
