so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
