I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
two words...techno handjob
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
