1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize