suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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