My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
