i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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