scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
