Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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