just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
