it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I am midnight drunk by noon
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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