? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
