Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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