im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
