Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
