Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
