My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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