normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
