took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
