Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
