the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
he just fucked me for my cheese.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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