Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
