you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
