did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
