Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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