You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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