you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
