But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
