i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
